A late birthday post. At 27, I’ve realised you never stop getting to know yourself. You keep doing things that surprise you, almost like you’re watching someone else’s life.

I. Leave home before you’re ready.

I left at 17. Where I come from, it’s unusual. Most people stay. But stepping out of comfort teaches you that staying never can. You discover that the world is bigger, harsher, and more exciting than you knew at home. You learn culture by living it, responsibility by carrying it, and resilience by having no one else to do it for you.

Don’t wait until you’re ready. You never will be.

II. Don’t hate people for looking out for themselves.

Most people who look out only for themselves have had no one else doing it for them. Self-preservation becomes a reflex. It isn’t malice; it’s survival. But survival can harden into selfishness, and selfishness corrodes relationships.

On the other hand, selflessness hollows you out until there’s nothing left to give. Both extremes lead to emptiness. The balance is hard to find, but it’s the only ground worth standing on.

III. Brutal honesty is mostly brutality.

There’s nothing noble about cutting someone down in the name of being “real”. Real honesty has space for care. Without it, you’re not brave; you’re lazy.

IV. Make space for wonder.

Life isn’t only about fixing, surviving, or achieving. Let yourself be surprised. Look at the sky. Sit with music until it changes your mood. Read things that confuse you. Swim, paint, wander. Wonder keeps you from becoming rigid. It reminds you that life is not just to be endured, it is to be noticed.

V. Don’t apologise for existing.

If your feelings never had space, you probably learnt to shrink yourself. You made yourself small, silent, and easy. You thought this was kindness. But erasing yourself helps no one. The people who deserve you need you present, not apologetic. Stop shrinking. Stop treating yourself like a stranger.

VI. Love needs work.

It isn’t permanent. It shifts, it wears out, it needs to be rebuilt again and again. The choice to keep showing up is what makes it last.

VII. Walk away when something doesn’t love you back.

Self-respect isn’t a theory. It’s a practice. It’s the courage to leave a room, a job, a relationship, or even a city when it stops holding you with care. Sometimes that’s the only reason, and it is enough.

VIII. Stop trying to fix people.

People aren’t puzzles waiting for you to complete them. Trying to fix someone will only make them resent you. Let people arrive at their lessons on their own time. You don’t get to choose the pace.

IX. Believe in yourself, but don’t confuse yourself with God.

Confidence matters. It lets you act. But arrogance blinds you. The line between the two is humility. Recognise it.

X. Choose principles, not rules.

Rules are rigid. They don’t bend for life’s chaos. Principles do. Define your own. Let them guide you, but don’t let them cage you.

XI. Choose your friends wisely.

Keep honest people who inspire you, who remind you of what’s possible. The company you keep quietly defines you. Make sure it’s good.

XII. Remember: no feeling is final.

Life will overwhelm you. You will fall into pits. You will feel certain this is the bottom. But it never is. Feelings pass. Life goes on. The only final thing is death; even then, maybe it’s not?